Not-So-Secret Diary of an 'Aristo-Geh'

I'm walking up to the dress rack I spotted as I came into the store. I couldn't for the life of me take my eyes off the hermes scarf I spotted earlier through the window. Its so pretty. The grey colour would go well with my dark skin tone. It'll also go well with the blue givenchy blouse I'd just bought two blocks down the street. Its terribly cold this time of the year in north london. These shoppers must think I'm crazy or extremely rich as I 'waste' loads of cash on summer outfits. A young caucasian male of about 27 walks into the store; he's looking right at me, mesmerised. I bet he can't get his eyes off my rack or my sensuous lips. I'm really pretty; I'd been told so a million times. He still turns around for more 'eye-feasting' even as he walks past me but his gaze suddenly changes to one of shock and slight embarrassment just as I feel the glove covered hands grab my left shoulder. Alhaji! He must have thought he'd̥ been spotted by my dad. I turned around to receive a kiss from the old and rather ugly looking man everyone else must have assumed to be my father. I see the puzzled looks on their faces. I'm used to it; I'm indifferent.


I'd woken up that morning thinking about the previous night; the things he'd asked me to do to him. 'Is this really me?', I'd thought. What would mom say if she could have seen me last night. I was meant to be in school studying for monday's pathology test. Instead here I was; lying naked next to a man older than my father! Oh my father! What would he say? He'd probably have himself to blame. But these decisions were mine and mine to make alone. He, Alhaji had asked me to spend the weekend with him in London. How could I say no? Miss this golden opportunity to get a Visa. Of course I knew what was expected of me. Alhaji likes to be stroked, teased, humiliated sexually and then be 'allowed' to take out his frustrations on my perfect body; my body that so many wanted, so many craved. I was expected to let this dirty old man do as he wished to it. Even as I had walked past the customs at Heathrow, I couldn't care less. It was worth it. Last night, oh last night! It would most likely have been better spent having an all night study session at the faculty lecture halls back home. Home! Home was thousands of miles away last night. Still was this morning. And I can't for the life of me figure out why I hadn't been in my bed back home. He'd made me tease him and then he'd taken his pent-up 'pressure' out on my tender arse. Yes, my arse. I'd bled even as he angrily thrusted into me. I'd bled! As if that wasn't enough, he'd 'forced' me to lick him off. To me, it was more like lick ME off! All the dirtiness I felt on the inside, I sucked right off his member, along with his seeds. My tongue probed the folds of skin around him to get every single drop.


I really did think that this morning's shopping spree would make me feel better. And yes it did. *shrugs* what can I say? I'm an 'aristo' girl. I think of what my 'friends' back in Nigeria would say; the look of awe of their faces as they went through my luggages. I would finally be 'one of them'. They wouldn't have to know about the painkillers; my still bleeding anus. They only need to see the material evidences of my trip.


Don't just sit there on the other side of this story and wrinkle your nose at me. Don't you dare look down on me. Don't judge me. I judge myself everyday. Its still not enough. There's really no excuse. I should face my studies, graduate and then get a job, right? But how can I graduate when I can't even pay my school fees. Mom slaved over the fire by the bus-stop back home. Why shouldn't she wear the finest of clothes? Because she has kids? Why should little Jared have to sit on the floor at school? Cause there's no money to pay for a private school? Why? These are the questions I ask myself. Is it all worth it? No! I'm sure you agree with me. The smile on mother's face as whenever she sees me or little Jared happy. That was all that once mattered. But things change. We grow up. We know that we could help. In anyway. We have 'eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil'. Now I know that a weak smile is not enough. Its barely a smile; a mona-lisa smile! I think back to those smiley moments. They never once reached her eyes; just her lips. I want to change that. But its still not worth it, I know! But then again, its MY pain.


That first time with Tomi, my first love. Love; feels like some distant place of which I have no idea whether or not it exists. Tomi really did love me as I did him. But it still wasn't enough. It never is. He was gentle. He sang to my body. He loved my beauty. He didn't try to own it although he did, he had 'earned' it. But that time feels like a different distant realm. I was sincerely happy. Now I'm actually still happy. I'm just not satisfied; not with the sex, the clothes, the money, everything. Nothing! I want more. Was it a mistake that I had followed Laide to that minister's house two years ago? That I had had a threesome with them? Aaaah! My first sinful act; that first step into the dark side. £7000 he had given me. Even father had never seen that much money! How could I look back? How could I go back to eating at 'bukas'? To wearing 'OKs'? No! I had to keep up to keep the currencies coming. Tomi was heartbroken when he saw me at that hotel with Mr. Jakande. I couldn't even beg his forgiveness cause I woulda hurt him again. I let him go so I could be 'free'.


Don't judge me! I would do the honours. It started out with needing money for fees and now its all about needing money for a Honda Pilot.... The 2.4 camry just doesn't cut it anymore. I want MORE!!! Blackberries are old gists, I want iPads and HTCs. H&Ms and New Looks won't do, I want Victoria's Secrets and Louis Vuittons...... I want MORE! Its never enough. It never stops.


Would I do things differently if I could go back? Staring at the shopping bags in my hands; the mail I just got on my phone, sent to me by my bank as I walk the walkways of downtown London; Alhaji by my side, I WON'T!!!! I'd do it the exact same way. Maybe even better. I could make do with a BMW. Don't judge me!

P.E!!!!

Oh ye PHCN!!! Why has thou forsaken me?! You have in you very infinite lack of mercy ruined my week!!!! Yes! I blame you! If you had done your supposed job, I won't have seen to need to 'beta-pass-my-neighbour'. Oh how my so-called neighbours shall make merry and be joyous as the 'suo-generator' failed me this morning...... If you are asking 'who sent you message?' Well...... I do have an 8am class and was hoping I could catch up with the news on Osama's death!.... Yi-to-da-Mu!!! I was about to have dirty explicit sex with FIFA11...... Unfortunately for me and rather fortunately for me-again and @KevinWithAnL (pls ask if u don't understand), the PS3 wasn't as 'turned on' as I was! *shrugs*..... But the television and light bulb! *smh*.... They literarily came in a blast!!!! And I guess they weren't well 'lubricated' as smoke instead of the conventional 'juices' were released..... Oh well! My temp lover is safe!!!

Which brings me to the twitter TT of the week.... Err..... Sorry Brits, your Prince lost out to a terrorist..... Osama.... Terrorist toh dead!!!! A lot was to be tweeted as regards this not-so-stout legendary murder! My very favorite (courtesy; yours truly :D) ; The US government shoulda donated Osama's body to Uniben's Anatomy department.... We need cadaver wey get liver! Anyways.... It all got me thinking.... How would it be written in terrorist heaven's 'book of death'?
And I quote (err..... Imaginary quote nii), "and he came unto our(their) lord rather early).... Sounds like premature ejaculation to me...., which brings me to another topic ; P.E...... Motto; that physical and health exercise that ends rather shortly!!!! Recently read A series of rather captivating posts... The Vagina and Penis Monologues.... Also confirmed my previous suspicions; The Vagina Speaks!!!! But the penis clearly knows not how to speak... I prefer it that way though.... I prefer a tongue that can speak at least 70 languages *winks*

I was tempted to make this post about The (not my) First Time! If you are the sensitive kinda guy, I'm sure you musta heard a vagina speak to you especially if its its first time doing to tango with ya plick! You musta seen, If not heard, in Infra RED view, the waves made by the voice of the vagina.... Anyways, I can understand why guys won't accept that their plick dey talk! I'm sure they'd be deaf and dumb if after their first encounter with The Talking Punani!!! Here's an example of a typical convo regarding this;

Plick: I jus dey look as u fine die.....

Punani: ehn..... *blushes* aka *drips*

Plick: hehehehe..... Y u dey cwy nau? Dis lollipop go full ya belle

Punani: *blushes some more* no nau.... No.... I'm not really ready sha

Plick: baybay.... I dey tremble 4 u!!! No worry... D̅ meek no go enter

Punani: ern.... But...... I can fit get tooth ache

Plick: oya small.... Smalll..... Jus the tip
U go enjoy D sweet afta D tooth ache
And like that.... In goes the pole..... Poor punani's still waiting for the 'sweet' part.... But in reality, the Plick *in Kanye's voice say
" The only guud I feel is the guud when I'm coming" and PWiiiiiiSH!!!!! In goes the meek!!!!

Now! This is NOT P.E but merely inexperience.... If shit like this still happens when you've been 'relating' with punani for A̳ long time, then pls broda Tunde, its not normal! You either A selfish murrafucka or you got P.E!!! I don't know much bout P.E̳̿ anyways.... Why should I? I have NEVER encountered that problem.... Abi have you? Yes, YOU!!!! U fink say Bimpe nor tell me? *rme* Go visit ya doc jur! And Bimpe, u sef..... Johnbull say u jus dey lie for bed like pako!!! Plank!!! Firewood!!!! Ladies, its not all work for the poor brother oh!!! He's just there ploughing, grinding and pounding..... And you're just lying down like 'abeg make him do finish*, like you not even feeling anything.... And you're enjoying it oh! Poor brother.

Takes me back to the movie; Good Luck Chuck!!!! (Hope I'm correct) the poor dude was just giving it to the one girl from behind while she was busy picking out wedding gowns from a mag! Smh!!!! You're twisting ya mouth like you don't do it too.... As if you don't watch gossip girl while he's working his arse off tryna give you an orgasm. At least try dey talk small small.... Seski talk nii oh.... And moan. He likes to know he's doing A fairly good job...... Biko!!!! And some gehs can do yeye things..... Gist!!!; A cousin of a friend of mine's neighbour said; there was this fine chick with arse like my fine face.... And face like; well.... *use your imagination* after much toasting and spending, he landed her! Right on his bed with good intentions..... Make her Scream!!! He was giving her 'agali' and she did PoOoM!!! The fine brother just stood up, wore his clothes and left! Ladies!!!! If you're gonna sesk, don't mess! Not all guys can manage that!

Anyways...... All that na long thing! I imagine Osama had A looooong thing!!!! And his dear wife!!!! Certainly not A vee.... Would she go to hell? Or be re-veed so she can continue tongue-polishing his pole in terrorist heaven? Would other dead young female suicide bombers make up the 72 pole polishers in terrorist heaven? Answers to these and more on my twitter page.... Stay tuned to scenes from our next episode!!!! LMFAO!!!! Joor oh, I'm jus kidding. Make awon *i kii u* no come find me 4 hia!!!! Oh shit!!! The lecturer just stepped in! And Yes! I'm sex-blogging in class. Now Bite me!!! :p thank God he moved the test sha... Na plick n punani I for jus write as answers nii.... Anyways.... Tnx for the read.... Blog at y'all later! :D

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