P.E!!!!

Oh ye PHCN!!! Why has thou forsaken me?! You have in you very infinite lack of mercy ruined my week!!!! Yes! I blame you! If you had done your supposed job, I won't have seen to need to 'beta-pass-my-neighbour'. Oh how my so-called neighbours shall make merry and be joyous as the 'suo-generator' failed me this morning...... If you are asking 'who sent you message?' Well...... I do have an 8am class and was hoping I could catch up with the news on Osama's death!.... Yi-to-da-Mu!!! I was about to have dirty explicit sex with FIFA11...... Unfortunately for me and rather fortunately for me-again and @KevinWithAnL (pls ask if u don't understand), the PS3 wasn't as 'turned on' as I was! *shrugs*..... But the television and light bulb! *smh*.... They literarily came in a blast!!!! And I guess they weren't well 'lubricated' as smoke instead of the conventional 'juices' were released..... Oh well! My temp lover is safe!!!

Which brings me to the twitter TT of the week.... Err..... Sorry Brits, your Prince lost out to a terrorist..... Osama.... Terrorist toh dead!!!! A lot was to be tweeted as regards this not-so-stout legendary murder! My very favorite (courtesy; yours truly :D) ; The US government shoulda donated Osama's body to Uniben's Anatomy department.... We need cadaver wey get liver! Anyways.... It all got me thinking.... How would it be written in terrorist heaven's 'book of death'?
And I quote (err..... Imaginary quote nii), "and he came unto our(their) lord rather early).... Sounds like premature ejaculation to me...., which brings me to another topic ; P.E...... Motto; that physical and health exercise that ends rather shortly!!!! Recently read A series of rather captivating posts... The Vagina and Penis Monologues.... Also confirmed my previous suspicions; The Vagina Speaks!!!! But the penis clearly knows not how to speak... I prefer it that way though.... I prefer a tongue that can speak at least 70 languages *winks*

I was tempted to make this post about The (not my) First Time! If you are the sensitive kinda guy, I'm sure you musta heard a vagina speak to you especially if its its first time doing to tango with ya plick! You musta seen, If not heard, in Infra RED view, the waves made by the voice of the vagina.... Anyways, I can understand why guys won't accept that their plick dey talk! I'm sure they'd be deaf and dumb if after their first encounter with The Talking Punani!!! Here's an example of a typical convo regarding this;

Plick: I jus dey look as u fine die.....

Punani: ehn..... *blushes* aka *drips*

Plick: hehehehe..... Y u dey cwy nau? Dis lollipop go full ya belle

Punani: *blushes some more* no nau.... No.... I'm not really ready sha

Plick: baybay.... I dey tremble 4 u!!! No worry... D̅ meek no go enter

Punani: ern.... But...... I can fit get tooth ache

Plick: oya small.... Smalll..... Jus the tip
U go enjoy D sweet afta D tooth ache
And like that.... In goes the pole..... Poor punani's still waiting for the 'sweet' part.... But in reality, the Plick *in Kanye's voice say
" The only guud I feel is the guud when I'm coming" and PWiiiiiiSH!!!!! In goes the meek!!!!

Now! This is NOT P.E but merely inexperience.... If shit like this still happens when you've been 'relating' with punani for A̳ long time, then pls broda Tunde, its not normal! You either A selfish murrafucka or you got P.E!!! I don't know much bout P.E̳̿ anyways.... Why should I? I have NEVER encountered that problem.... Abi have you? Yes, YOU!!!! U fink say Bimpe nor tell me? *rme* Go visit ya doc jur! And Bimpe, u sef..... Johnbull say u jus dey lie for bed like pako!!! Plank!!! Firewood!!!! Ladies, its not all work for the poor brother oh!!! He's just there ploughing, grinding and pounding..... And you're just lying down like 'abeg make him do finish*, like you not even feeling anything.... And you're enjoying it oh! Poor brother.

Takes me back to the movie; Good Luck Chuck!!!! (Hope I'm correct) the poor dude was just giving it to the one girl from behind while she was busy picking out wedding gowns from a mag! Smh!!!! You're twisting ya mouth like you don't do it too.... As if you don't watch gossip girl while he's working his arse off tryna give you an orgasm. At least try dey talk small small.... Seski talk nii oh.... And moan. He likes to know he's doing A fairly good job...... Biko!!!! And some gehs can do yeye things..... Gist!!!; A cousin of a friend of mine's neighbour said; there was this fine chick with arse like my fine face.... And face like; well.... *use your imagination* after much toasting and spending, he landed her! Right on his bed with good intentions..... Make her Scream!!! He was giving her 'agali' and she did PoOoM!!! The fine brother just stood up, wore his clothes and left! Ladies!!!! If you're gonna sesk, don't mess! Not all guys can manage that!

Anyways...... All that na long thing! I imagine Osama had A looooong thing!!!! And his dear wife!!!! Certainly not A vee.... Would she go to hell? Or be re-veed so she can continue tongue-polishing his pole in terrorist heaven? Would other dead young female suicide bombers make up the 72 pole polishers in terrorist heaven? Answers to these and more on my twitter page.... Stay tuned to scenes from our next episode!!!! LMFAO!!!! Joor oh, I'm jus kidding. Make awon *i kii u* no come find me 4 hia!!!! Oh shit!!! The lecturer just stepped in! And Yes! I'm sex-blogging in class. Now Bite me!!! :p thank God he moved the test sha... Na plick n punani I for jus write as answers nii.... Anyways.... Tnx for the read.... Blog at y'all later! :D

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