Ghosts Of The Past

So........ Word on the street is that my blog is a SEX blog! *shrugs* well......... Maybe it is. And if that's why you are reading this right here, I'm quite happy to tell you this, "you are so gonna be disappointed." So, I was recently well impressed by a few posts I read; The 'Letter' Posts........ If you haven't read any yet, http://KevinWithAnL.blogspot.com (hope I got that right). Awesome read!

Anyways, I'm gonna be a 'copycat' and write my own letter. If e dey pain you, I suggest you STOP reading! Its not an Erotic letter to my 'future husband' or some secret lover. Its a personal letter; a letter to me.

Dear Teen Me,
Hey, wussup? We a little bit grown now; a few curves here and there, sexier voice(yea, our voice is pretty sexy). Most of all, we know so much more about life than you do. I'm not here to grill you and tell you all the things that you did, do and are gonna do wrong. I just wanna say hello; leave a few words for you

You probably feel 'alone' most of the time; you don't mind though, neither do I. You have a very funny forehead, we still have it. But other 'things' distract people's attention from it. Kids make fun of you an awful lot. Not just for that but for other things as well. You get upset a lot but you never fight back, it doesn't matter what they think. I'm not ashamed that you let them 'walk all over' you and I'm still not ashamed about that one time you exploded cause you couldn't take it anymore. But don't ever feel like a coward because you don't 'stand up' to your 'friends' when they tease and make fun of you. No matter what!
"It takes more strength to pull together than it does to retaliate".

You love music a lot. We still do! Its a beautiful thing, don't let anyone take it away from you. Even though you didn't get that walkman you wanted for your birthday, you saved enough to get one; one that had a 'rec' function so you could record your favorite songs off the radio. High school is great for you. You don't have many friends but you do pretty well. You made best student a few times not cause you cheated but cause you were smart enough to do it right.

Home doesn't seem much like home cause it seems you're always doing something wrong. I'm not gonna promise you that the nights spent crying into your pillows are ever gonna come to an end. You are going to get to that point where you just about fall right off the edge. Although you take the 'bait' as it seems the easy way out, I forgive you. I, We, would probably still take the same route right now should the 'opportunity' present itself again. I really love that you were and we still are quite able to put up a butch front even when we are totally destroyed on the inside. It take courage. You are touchy about your opinions. You fight when they are challenged. You give up half way through the fight. It makes you feel so inadequate atimes. It still hurts me even now. But you know what,
"A courageous person know not to be afraid of challenges and a wise man knows when to keep quiet"
You aren't even miles close to being a coward for that. Remember this whenever you feel down.

You might think you're incapable of love; loving and being loved, right now, but you're gonna get it. I don't know what to tell you; I can't tell you its painless, I can't tell you that you are never gonna feel hurt. I can't even promise you that the 'feeling' is true love. But I can promise you that its every bit worth it. Even when you doubt what you feel, give your heart another chance, trust it. You might be wrong, time heals things. But you don't ever want to wonder 'what if'.

I personally think that sex is over-rated and I'm quite sure you'd have the same opinion. But don't change your views about it. You are gonna do a mighty good job of maintaining your self respect. Like I said earlier, people are always gonna judge your actions. They don't understand the pain, turmoil and bitterness that lies within you. I understand. Who better than I? Even when those close to you don't understand, I do! We do! Trust what you believe always, trust what I believe! Even when you make mistakes, they are merely that; mistakes. I would give you but one advice, don't take out your anger on those you love. Its always hurts you more than it does them.

If this had been hand written in ink, you'd see the smudges made by my tears as I tell you this; I regret a lot. Everyone's gonna literarily leave you behind as a result of you very 'minor' mistakes, but I don't hold it against you. I would never; you are afterall only 14. Everyday, I wish I could go back in time and change things, but even as I write this to you, I know deep down that nothing is gonna change. You would do the exact same things, the same way and I do not begrudge you for that.
"A lot we can change, but the past is not one of them"

Emotional and spiritual fatigue you would experience often. I would not be making any promises to you as regards the future for I'm yet to receive my 'letter'. But I can tell you this; don't forget that song from church.......
"I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know we'll host tomorrow"
This is what keeps us moving

From Us.

You're probably wondering why I chose to write to the past rather than the future which seems the rather obvious thing to do. I don't think we truly move on when we choose to forget the past without properly addressing it. We want to move on but the past always has ghosts that come to torment the future. Don't ask me 'how?' For I know not. But we MUST face it!

This Post is dedicated to Yours Truly! Its not for your approval or anything like that. Its for my sanity.

Thanks for reading. Pls forgive my blunders!
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Sex in THIS City

Yea…. I can see em hater snickering…. 'her blog only survived 1 post'… whatever! Here I am with something else to say.
So its been forever since my first and last blog… I gotta say; inspiration is rather hard to come by these days. Matter of fact, I'm still without a title… so imma just breeze through some topics… oh yea….. jus got a title; Sex and the City; Location: 9ja

So I'm sitting on my bed… doing what I love most of course; tweeting. All of a sudden, I start hearing sounds, and no, they weren't in my head but from my annoying neighbor's room…. At first, I thought it was his girl crying; I kept hearing "victor… aaaoooohhhh….. yeeyyee" and the dude is like "baby, its alright, I'm almost done"…. Thought she was hurt and he was massaging like her foot or something but then I started hearing moans and groans…. E don come! Choi!!!! 9ja peeps and their sex habits!

While walking on the streets, we all look, and like to pretend, like we don't have sex. The girls blush when words like 'dick' or 'pussy' are used…. (I blush too! Yeeesss… I gats to form niii. U wan make them think say na me be beta whore for school? No oh!) anyways, some of us like to pretend we 'don't know where babies come from'…. Incase you don't know… (in dat irritating voice) "axe your mummy". Me I know!

When I see those hardcore Yoruba gehs (yes, gehs… those humans are not girls oh) with tribal mark that looks like those green stretch marks and then with green stretch marks that look like sea waves… yea, those gehs! I wonder how they sound in bed… I'm pretty sure they're not virgins. Don't ask me how I know, I've seen the way those nasty mechanics and bus drivers ogle their wobbly butts. I'm very sure they don't sound they way I do… yea, me! I'm a cream chick nau(for my mind). And I'm also sure they don't sound the way porn stars sound, forget all that over-the-top noise. My point is, dem nor fit get fine accent! We all do not sound the same way in bed! They probably go; 'Hakeem!, joor oh… mon bo… oti oh.. oti tobi ju, hakeem… e joor oh… hakeemu, hakeem… duro, je kin simi die, je kin simi die… joor'(DON'T ask the nearest Yoruba person for translations)

And then I go to the market to buy stock fish for my mom. One igbo geh ans me rudely… "ehn…. Gini ki cho? Wetin u wan buy? Na clayfish I dey sell for hia… u dey brock my market"… that also got me thinking. How would this geh even sound like when chnedu is drilling her? "bloda Chinedu, bloda chinedu… biko… biko… pussy'm din a orku…. Chai… chai…. Drill'm ya smah smah… ana ma bia… chinedu… ana ma bia biko, chinedu… CHINEDU!!!" ….that really doesn't sound so appealing to me. Or are you turned on?. And the last, true story…. You need to see this chick praying in fellowship meetings. She can speak in tongues…. Naturally, when I heard the gist; I expected that she also 'came' in tongues. But as a 'bini' geh, rumor has it that she goes…"iyeme, iyeme…… greatest BASSITES" I'm not gonna give out her info! :D make pesin nor come bitchslap me for class… not that she's in my class oh! Anyway….. I'm pretty sure that at least one of these occurs at least every 30mins in YOUR hood. Anyway, as for the boys, don't even get me started…. We'd leave that for another post.
Wait…wait…wait… lemme give you small gist. So I go into this guys room real early in the morning, he's still in his boxer shorts, his girl is still asleep on his bed… I'm waiting patiently to collect some material. He takes a sit on the floor, and BLAM!!! Out pops his balls!!! Wetin carry my eye go there you ask? If you see kpof-kpof for your front, whether you dey eat am or not, you MUST look! The guy didn't even know, or maybe he new and was just showing off. But who the heck shows off his balls… I thought the 'plick' was the main attraction… but what do I know… some girls have weird fetishes… which brings me to the sub-topic, "Where?" u dey ask me? Not me oh…. You.. Yes YOU….

My ears have heard, my eyes have seen and now my hands are typing; the strange places people do their business… I don't mean shit business or piss business nii… I mean the CUM business. If you still don't know what I mean, ask that dude on twirra that uses the word CUM like he has never…….. no be me talk am. Anyway, once upon a time, a boy met a very sexy chick at the club. With the way she was whining and grinding on him, his 'willi-willi'(in igbo accent) was very happy…. They decided to take it to the next level…. Not relationship wise, but lets-get-rid-of-the-clothes-wise(not that they got rid of the clothes anyway)….. they went past the couches in the club, perhaps not wanting to be spotted; past the toilets, perhaps not wanting to catch something in those nasty club toilets… don't be deceived by their shiny states oh, those toilets are reeked with all sorts of bacteria, fungi and viruses… especially viruses… you don't want your punani to come in contact with the wrong spot….O_o… anyway, they went outside and did it right on the bonnet of a car… perhaps they were too wasted to find the keyhole! A chat buddy said she did it in a moving train O_o….. no be for naija oh… na inside BRT bus you wan do am… make the bus enter gallop first, if the guy na king kong, OYO for you! Anyway, I was like WTF?! People, (notice that I said people not me) say; having sex under pressure (like being caught) makes it more fun. No be me and you

Anyway, I nor too blame them…. If I wan cheat( not that I do or I want to) or I wan do bad thing, nor be for haus I go do am… like the other, I was taking an evening stroll due to the excessive heat in my cubicle of a room, a friend joined me somewhere along the road….. him say na akara him dey go buy as mama pepper rice food dey make him anus pepper am for morning, say make we waka together. As usual, gist gats enter the flow; we were passing by this chick's crib when he started giving me serious story oh…. ........................ story, story… once open a time, time, time…

My guy dey gist me say; his girlfriend just broke up with him. And of course, I asked the obvious question; 'why?'… here goes the story. (Imma call him) Chris Brown traveled for some IT ish to some distant place that has no cell service. He said he actually explained this to his his girl; Rihanna. So of course, there was no communication of any sorts. Anyway, he came back after about 2weeks. As he could not call Rihanna to inform her of his flight details and all that, he just decided to sha surprise her…. My friend went to look for better, healthy rose and a small box of chocolate to surprise his girl oh.. that's how he carried his two legs, walked down to her crib, used his key to open the door and GBAM!!!! Yawa don gas…. The chick dey ride one broda wella…. My guy jus dey see one king kong 'organ' dey plow him chick. *no be say I dey dia oh* but, I'm sure e be like 9ja feem, as the box of chocolate(wey him for give me) dey fall from him hand and all that… my guy shout; RiRi???? Choi… as the guy was telling me, I was feeling sorry for him…. The king-kong dude turned out to be the girl's neighbour… that one just jumped up and took off holding his 'plick' with both hands…. *one hand nor reach cover am*…. I nor dey there, but I know! Poor Chris Brown start to dey cry oh… instead of the girl to even feel sorry or something, she was now blaming the poor boy. That he abandoned her and all that… who to blame? The girl that jumped into the hands of king kong or my guy that left his girl for weeks in the hands of Monster 'willi-willi'?

Before I'll be giving you gist… the issue was the location of the 'hot-not-hay-sex'. She for no just open nyash for room like that na. but erm… if you happen to cheat, DO NOT take my advice cos I refuse to be blamed for the consequences…. Sorry I'm a little bit distracted *now staring at Johnny Depp on my tv set*.. you know how I feel bout him na.. lemme not go into all that…. It might get me into trouble. Earlier today on twitter, I wrote ; "pls who has Lynxx's addy? I would love to go over to his place and kiss those sexy lips". And I got the reply… "he-who-must-not-be-named must not see this". Lmfao…. Anyway, my hand dey pain me….

Spent the last couple of days "teaching" ma hommies how to play soccer; PS3 things… translation; @KevinWithAnL and @BragginRightz won me small sha… *blushing*….. and the FAKE TWITFIGHT that gave me small fame; courtesy of @tobilawbar and @GbaGaunDeteCtor …… it was bloody. Choi!!! But humans are so gullible. They just fell like twin towers… YAKATA!!!... smh… and today's TT has been the best all so far…. #WetinConcern… it even got me locked in #TwitJail… but based on who I be… with counselors like @GeneralJugod, @cmokai, and @craziewilly aka willi-willi, on my side, I made patrol and my sentence got reduced… thanks guys!

Thanks to @xbone2003, one of my many childhood crushes for giving small inspiration ;)
Abeg oh!!!! Everthing written down was hear-say! Infact, it was hear-hear-see-saw-heard-watch-say! Make dem no come find me for haus….
Shey I nor GbaGaun sha???? Catch ya

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