Anyways, I'm gonna be a 'copycat' and write my own letter. If e dey pain you, I suggest you STOP reading! Its not an Erotic letter to my 'future husband' or some secret lover. Its a personal letter; a letter to me.
Dear Teen Me,
Hey, wussup? We a little bit grown now; a few curves here and there, sexier voice(yea, our voice is pretty sexy). Most of all, we know so much more about life than you do. I'm not here to grill you and tell you all the things that you did, do and are gonna do wrong. I just wanna say hello; leave a few words for you
You probably feel 'alone' most of the time; you don't mind though, neither do I. You have a very funny forehead, we still have it. But other 'things' distract people's attention from it. Kids make fun of you an awful lot. Not just for that but for other things as well. You get upset a lot but you never fight back, it doesn't matter what they think. I'm not ashamed that you let them 'walk all over' you and I'm still not ashamed about that one time you exploded cause you couldn't take it anymore. But don't ever feel like a coward because you don't 'stand up' to your 'friends' when they tease and make fun of you. No matter what!
"It takes more strength to pull together than it does to retaliate".
You love music a lot. We still do! Its a beautiful thing, don't let anyone take it away from you. Even though you didn't get that walkman you wanted for your birthday, you saved enough to get one; one that had a 'rec' function so you could record your favorite songs off the radio. High school is great for you. You don't have many friends but you do pretty well. You made best student a few times not cause you cheated but cause you were smart enough to do it right.
Home doesn't seem much like home cause it seems you're always doing something wrong. I'm not gonna promise you that the nights spent crying into your pillows are ever gonna come to an end. You are going to get to that point where you just about fall right off the edge. Although you take the 'bait' as it seems the easy way out, I forgive you. I, We, would probably still take the same route right now should the 'opportunity' present itself again. I really love that you were and we still are quite able to put up a butch front even when we are totally destroyed on the inside. It take courage. You are touchy about your opinions. You fight when they are challenged. You give up half way through the fight. It makes you feel so inadequate atimes. It still hurts me even now. But you know what,
"A courageous person know not to be afraid of challenges and a wise man knows when to keep quiet"
You aren't even miles close to being a coward for that. Remember this whenever you feel down.
You might think you're incapable of love; loving and being loved, right now, but you're gonna get it. I don't know what to tell you; I can't tell you its painless, I can't tell you that you are never gonna feel hurt. I can't even promise you that the 'feeling' is true love. But I can promise you that its every bit worth it. Even when you doubt what you feel, give your heart another chance, trust it. You might be wrong, time heals things. But you don't ever want to wonder 'what if'.
I personally think that sex is over-rated and I'm quite sure you'd have the same opinion. But don't change your views about it. You are gonna do a mighty good job of maintaining your self respect. Like I said earlier, people are always gonna judge your actions. They don't understand the pain, turmoil and bitterness that lies within you. I understand. Who better than I? Even when those close to you don't understand, I do! We do! Trust what you believe always, trust what I believe! Even when you make mistakes, they are merely that; mistakes. I would give you but one advice, don't take out your anger on those you love. Its always hurts you more than it does them.
If this had been hand written in ink, you'd see the smudges made by my tears as I tell you this; I regret a lot. Everyone's gonna literarily leave you behind as a result of you very 'minor' mistakes, but I don't hold it against you. I would never; you are afterall only 14. Everyday, I wish I could go back in time and change things, but even as I write this to you, I know deep down that nothing is gonna change. You would do the exact same things, the same way and I do not begrudge you for that.
"A lot we can change, but the past is not one of them"
Emotional and spiritual fatigue you would experience often. I would not be making any promises to you as regards the future for I'm yet to receive my 'letter'. But I can tell you this; don't forget that song from church.......
"I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know we'll host tomorrow"
This is what keeps us moving
From Us.
You're probably wondering why I chose to write to the past rather than the future which seems the rather obvious thing to do. I don't think we truly move on when we choose to forget the past without properly addressing it. We want to move on but the past always has ghosts that come to torment the future. Don't ask me 'how?' For I know not. But we MUST face it!
This Post is dedicated to Yours Truly! Its not for your approval or anything like that. Its for my sanity.
Thanks for reading. Pls forgive my blunders!
Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone, from Etisalat. Enjoy high speed internet service with Etisalat easy net, available at all our experience centres
No comments:
Post a Comment